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Have
you ever been slugged by a backpack? Seriously. Right in the kisser?
I have - more than once. I warn you that a backpack filled with a dozen textbooks,
a couple of CD's and a few cans of pop, can swing like a ten
kilo cement bag. And
it hurts. Problem
is, that a backpack swinger, like a hit-and-run driver, rarely
waits to see if the victim lives.
It's scary that backpacks are now a fashion statement.
From students to yuppies, people flaunt designer
backpacks. I know
they're a handy dandy accessory because they leave your hands
free to roam, read the newspaper or do your homework. However a backpack sticks way out - rudely reminiscent of
the hunchback of Notre Dame.
The backpack's hit the transit system with a vengeance.
Picture the inferno on a rush hour bus or subway. People are packed shoulder to shoulder.
Suddenly the person next to you turns and bang! You're
smashed across the nose with a backpack. The owner doesn't even realize that you've been hit.
"Ouch", you
say loudly and the backpack owner turns to see what's happened,
catching you in the eye with the end of a buckle. Next the culprit bends down to fix a shoelace and you
receive a painful uppercut to your chin. You don't know what's worse - looks colleagues give your
black eye at work or your fellow commuters when they see you in
a helmet!
With apologies to backpack owners, it would make life less
dangerous on the transit system if backpacks were taken off
before boarding or kept only for outdoor activities. Backpack owners, like demented bicyclists take on a
defensive\aggressive air. "So here I am with my backpack
and what are you going to do about it?" As though it's our fault for running into the backpack -
no apology for allowing it to protrude way out.
Backpacks usually sit on the seat behind the owners while they
precariously dangle their posterior at the edge of the seat.
Very aggressive backpack owners are known to keep the
offending item on the space next to them and dare you to remove
it. Taking off a backpack is not as easy as just slipping a
handbag off a shoulder. It
requires space to stretch arms wide and then slip off the load
one side at a time. A backpack is not a friendly, cuddly sort of
a thing that you can hold in your lap. It
demands a place of its own.
As long as that place is not next to my face, I have no
problems
with backpacks.
wonder if backpack owners realize the trauma they create in
the close vicinity of the backpack? If you are a person behind a backpack going up on an
escalator, stay four steps behind because for every one step the
person occupies, allow three for the backpack. Otherwise you suffocate with your face shoved into the
back of someone's backpack.
Maybe there could be a warning label on backpacks saying
"Beware - dangerous to the health of anyone within
three feet." Are
there laws that protect victims of backpack mugging? And did I
forget to mention that a bigger than usual snozzle attracts more
than the usual number of hits - my recent red and bruised nose
is a
constant reminder.
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