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Abida
and Gulu Uppal of Toronto are a unique couple - not only in their respective
country of birth, but in Canada as
well. In a world gone mad, where
massacre and slaughter are the call of the day; where violence over religious
and cultural discord is a daily occurrence, Abida and Gulu are proof that one
can transcend differences. Abida,
55, a Psychiatrist, is a Pakistani Muslim; Gulu, 56, an Engineer, is a Hindu from India. To their respective community and to the clergy,
their alliance is unnatural and unacceptable. Religiously and politically, they are
enemies, but as a couple they have found a 'safe haven' in Canada.
"Even
in Canada, not everyone accepts us openly" says Gulu "because bigotry
dies hard." Gulu clarifies that although he, like many others, initially came to Canada for economic reasons,
found the socio-political set-up conducive to harmony and decided to make
this his home. He met and married
Abida in Canada.
Both
Abida and Gulu have children from previous marriages who are totally in favour
of their parent's unusual alliance. Abida
has three children, two live in Canada and Gulu has two children, both residing
in Canada. Abida's children were
young and vulnerable when their own father died and Abida indicates that Gulu
has been a exemplary father to her children. "Even if we had children together, I am sure we would have been a
close and loving family because we
have mutual respect for each other's culture and religion". Whenever Abida and Gulu talk about their offspring,
they always refer to them as "our kids" and not 'his' or 'her'
children. At any given time, there
are children, their spouses and various grandchildren running through the Uppal
household, which resounds with sounds of love, laughter and a sense of
harmony that is special.
What
festivals do the family celebrate? Abida
laughs easily and says "we consider ourselves lucky to celebrate life.
We enjoy Diwali and honour other hindu festivals just as much as we
revere Eid and rejoice in Muslim festivals. And of course, we just love Christmas!
Isn't it amazing how much richer our life is, with more to celebrate and
more to enrich us?"
"It
was not easy in the beginning" reminisces Abida, "my own community was ready to ostracize me when I
married Gulu. It is unacceptable to
them that I married a man who is not only of a different religion, but from a
country which has been at war with my native land. To many I seem like a
traitor. In Canada we have found
neutral grounds and we would like to think that we are setting an example that
human qualities far outweigh politics and enmity."
This
is how it should be according to Rajiv Bhatia, Consul General of India in
Toronto, who says, "that in
coming to Canada, I feel, people should bring with them only the positive
aspects of their heritage and background such as their strengths, while
discarding negative beliefs and baggage. Hatred
and violence have no place in a modern society like Canada". Bhatia who has spent 23 years in the diplomatic service and travelled
extensively, continues "for immigrants in Canada, allegiance to the host
country is important...the best way to synthesize is to free themselves from
encumbrances and work towards global unity by minimizing differences and opening
their minds to the new world."
Canada
is the 'new world' to multiple ethnic groups who have migrated here in search of
peace and harmony. In making Canada
their home, it seems that people have no choice but to minimize their
differences because this is one place in the world where English and Irish,
Hutus and Tutsis, Macedonians and Greeks, Muslims and Jews plus other rival
factions, may find themselves living next door to
each other.
In
fact they do. One notable example
of creating harmony is the chance existence of a Muslim Mosque and Jewish Synagogue side by side on Bayview Avenue in
Markham, sharing more than just a parking lot. Rabbi Michael Stroh and Imam
Dr.
Liakatali Takim work together to minimize differences and find similarities to
work with. Rabbi Stroh believes
"harmony does not require people to be the same. People have to explore
each others differences and stress on commonalities." Dr. Takim agrees "we have found that with
healthy respect and understanding of each other's differences, we can
exist in harmony without compromising our principles." When the Mosque was sprayed with graffiti a few months ago, volunteers
from the Synagogue assisted in cleaning up the mess. Two Canadian film makers were so enthused at this unusual alliance that
have made a documentary called "A Lot to Share" which was viewed at
the Synagogue with participants from the Mosque in attendance. Today, the Jaffari Mosque and Temple Har Zion interact, exchange
information and have even initiated visits to each other's place of worship.
While
it seems that racial harmony is possible in Canada, there are those who would
disagree. They are afraid that setting aside their political and religious
differences will make them lose their roots and their heritage. Vera,
(not her real name)
36, a legal secretary, lives in Etobicoke and wears her "SERBIAN
POWER" T-shirt with pride and confidence says "I am in favour of
keeping alive the differences. How else will my children know what their cause
is?". Interestingly, Vera has
lived in Canada for most of her life, her children are born Canadians but she is
adamant that they understand the Serbian cause and participate fully in politics
of her native country. Vera does not speak for the entire community, but she
personally takes a strong stand and
participates in rallies plus distributes flyers which promote the cause of her
native country. She has no
hesitation in drawing a line between friend and foe. "I can never live with them or learn to like them," she states,
"even in Canada."
The
flames of dissension that Vera wishes to keep alive, have no place in Maire's
life. Maire, 42, of Thornhill, who is as
Irish as her flaming hair and a devout Catholic, asserts "people have no right to export their hatreds to Canada. If
there are gross injustices in your native country, and you want awareness of the
problem, then create a forum to educate people. Violence only begets
violence." Of her Irish ancestors she says "many of them came to
Canada to find a brighter future and the future can only be bright when there is
peace on the horizon. We have to
learn to bury rivalries of the past
and look ahead." How does she
feel about her son's best friend being British and a Protestant? "It makes no difference to any of us.
These petty conflicts are a thing of the past and the twentieth century
is a time to make peace, not war"
Are
petty conflicts truly a thing of the past for all who come to Canada? Do people
shed their racial, ethnic and religious rivalries once they take on Canadian
citizenship or are they loyal to two flags and two causes? While some continue to indulge in
hate propaganda and clan rivalries, there are others like the Uppals who bring a
semblance of peace to Canada.
What
does the future hold for various communities that have made Canada their home?
Opinion is varied, but there
is a fear among some people that if hate propaganda is not stopped, the Canadian mosaic may be destroyed and that Canada may end up like the
former Yugoslavia and Lebanon - torn by ethnic strife. According to writer Joel
Kotkin, (author of Tribes) Canada
has already entered the era where
"global tribes" - cohesive ethnic groups are making their presence
felt. There is also the pressing
question of whether Government sponsored Multiculturalism divides or unites
Canadians? Maybe a lesson needs to
be taken from places where ethnic discord is rampant. This lesson should be put to use in making Canada the perfect
example of a 'global village', promulgating global harmony, peace and unity
among all the people who call it home.
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