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Abida
and Gulu Uppal of Toronto are a unique couple - not only in
their respective country of birth, but in Canada as well.
In a world gone mad, where massacre and slaughter are the call
of the day; where violence over religious and cultural discord
is a daily occurrence, Abida and Gulu are proof that one can
transcend differences. Abida, 55, a Psychiatrist, is a
Pakistani Muslim; Gulu, 56, an Engineer, is a Hindu from
India. To their respective community and to the clergy, their
alliance is unnatural and unacceptable. Religiously and
politically, they are enemies, but as a couple they have
found a 'safe haven' in Canada.
"Even
in Canada, not everyone accepts us openly" says Gulu
"because bigotry dies hard." Gulu clarifies that
although he, like many others, initially came to Canada
for economic reasons, found the socio-political set-up
conducive to harmony and decided to make this his home. He
met and married Abida in Canada.
Both
Abida and Gulu have children from previous marriages who are
totally in favour of their parent's unusual alliance.
Abida has three children, two live in Canada and Gulu has two
children, both residing in Canada. Abida's children were
young and vulnerable when their own father died and Abida
indicates that Gulu has been a exemplary father to her children.
"Even if we had children together, I am sure we would have
been a close and loving family because we have mutual
respect for each other's culture and religion".
Whenever Abida and Gulu talk about their offspring, they
always refer to them as "our kids" and not 'his' or
'her' children. At any given time, there are children,
their spouses and various grandchildren running through the
Uppal household, which resounds with sounds of love,
laughter and a sense of harmony that is special.
What
festivals do the family celebrate? Abida laughs easily and
says "we consider ourselves lucky to celebrate life.
We enjoy Diwali and honour other hindu festivals just as much as
we revere Eid and rejoice in Muslim festivals.
And of course, we just love Christmas! Isn't it amazing
how much richer our life is, with more to celebrate and more to
enrich us?"
"It
was not easy in the beginning" reminisces Abida, "my
own community was ready to ostracize me when I married Gulu.
It is unacceptable to them that I married a man who is not only
of a different religion, but from a country which has been at
war with my native land. To many I seem like a traitor. In
Canada we have found neutral grounds and we would like to think
that we are setting an example that human qualities far outweigh
politics and enmity."
This
is how it should be according to Rajiv Bhatia, Consul General of
India in Toronto, who says, "that in coming to
Canada, I feel, people should bring with them only the positive
aspects of their heritage and background such as their
strengths, while discarding negative beliefs and baggage.
Hatred and violence have no place in a modern society like
Canada". Bhatia who has spent 23 years in the
diplomatic service and travelled extensively, continues
"for immigrants in Canada, allegiance to the host country
is important...the best way to synthesize is to free themselves
from encumbrances and work towards global unity by minimizing
differences and opening their minds to the new world."
Canada
is the 'new world' to multiple ethnic groups who have migrated
here in search of peace and harmony. In making Canada
their home, it seems that people have no choice but to minimize
their differences because this is one place in the world where
English and Irish, Hutus and Tutsis, Macedonians and Greeks,
Muslims and Jews plus other rival factions, may find themselves
living next door to
each other.
In
fact they do. One notable example of creating harmony is
the chance existence of a Muslim Mosque and Jewish
Synagogue side by side on Bayview Avenue in Markham, sharing
more than just a parking lot. Rabbi Michael Stroh and Imam
Dr.
Liakatali Takim work together to minimize differences and find
similarities to work with. Rabbi Stroh believes
"harmony does not require people to be the same. People
have to explore each others differences and stress on
commonalities." Dr. Takim agrees "we have found
that with healthy respect and understanding of each
other's differences, we can exist in harmony without
compromising our principles." When the Mosque
was sprayed with graffiti a few months ago, volunteers from the
Synagogue assisted in cleaning up the mess. Two
Canadian film makers were so enthused at this unusual alliance
that have made a documentary called "A Lot to Share"
which was viewed at the Synagogue with participants from the
Mosque in attendance. Today, the Jaffari Mosque and Temple
Har Zion interact, exchange information and have even initiated
visits to each other's place of worship.
While
it seems that racial harmony is possible in Canada, there are
those who would disagree. They are afraid that setting aside
their political and religious differences will make them lose
their roots and their heritage. Vera, (not her real
name) 36, a legal secretary, lives in Etobicoke and wears her
"SERBIAN POWER" T-shirt with pride and confidence says
"I am in favour of keeping alive the differences. How else
will my children know what their cause is?".
Interestingly, Vera has lived in Canada for most of her life,
her children are born Canadians but she is adamant that they
understand the Serbian cause and participate fully in politics
of her native country. Vera does not speak for the entire
community, but she personally takes a strong stand and
participates in rallies plus distributes flyers which promote
the cause of her native country. She has no hesitation in
drawing a line between friend and foe. "I can
never live with them or learn to like them," she states,
"even in Canada."
The
flames of dissension that Vera wishes to keep alive, have no
place in Maire's life. Maire, 42, of Thornhill,
who is as Irish as her flaming hair and a devout Catholic,
asserts "people have no right to export their hatreds to
Canada. If there are gross injustices in your native country,
and you want awareness of the problem, then create a forum to
educate people. Violence only begets violence." Of her
Irish ancestors she says "many of them came to Canada to
find a brighter future and the future can only be bright when
there is peace on the horizon. We have to learn to bury
rivalries of the past and look ahead." How does she
feel about her son's best friend being British and a Protestant?
"It makes no difference to any of us. These petty
conflicts are a thing of the past and the twentieth century is a
time to make peace, not war"
Are
petty conflicts truly a thing of the past for all who come to
Canada? Do people shed their racial, ethnic and religious
rivalries once they take on Canadian citizenship or are they
loyal to two flags and two causes? While some continue to
indulge in
hate propaganda and clan rivalries, there are others like the
Uppals who bring a semblance of peace to Canada.
What
does the future hold for various communities that have made
Canada their home? Opinion is varied,
but there is a fear among some people that if hate propaganda is
not stopped, the Canadian mosaic may be destroyed and that
Canada may end up like the former Yugoslavia and Lebanon - torn
by ethnic strife. According to writer Joel Kotkin, (author
of Tribes) Canada has already entered the era where
"global tribes" - cohesive ethnic groups are making
their presence felt. There is also the pressing question
of whether Government sponsored Multiculturalism divides or
unites Canadians? Maybe a lesson needs to be taken from
places where ethnic discord is rampant. This lesson should
be put to use in making Canada the perfect example of a 'global
village', promulgating global harmony, peace and unity among all
the people who call it home.
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