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Toronto
Star, Ontario
ed.
RELIGION
Thursday, February 17, 1994
I am in a bit of a dilemma.
Yesterday, as I rode home on the subway, a gentleman, sitting
across the aisle from me, was eating his dinner. He sat with his
legs crossed on the seat in front of him, which is fine because
that seat was vacant. The gentleman first ate a packet of
cookies, then threw the empty box on the floor beside him - by
chance I thought. Then he ate a banana and casually dropped the
peel on the floor -
no mistake.
I expressed my displeasure at these acts of littering by
pointedly staring at him and frowning. No reaction. He opened
his knapsack and took out a wad of tissues. After blowing his
nose loudly and unceremoniously, he crumpled up the tissues and
added them to the items on the floor. There were other commuters
in the subway car, but no one said anything.
Usually, I am too tired to do anything but doze on my ride
home from work. However, this man's behavior disgusted me, and
churned up so much anger in me, that I fumed all the way.
The reason I did not say anything to him is because on other
occasions, I've had very rude reactions to my well-intentioned
criticism. Recently, I stopped a lady who had put a soiled
diaper under the seat. She answered me with a string of
epithets. I don't learn easily and consider myself a bit of a
reformer but I'm changing fast. This time, therefore, I took no
action and obediently disembarked at my subway stop leaving the
litterbug on the train.
My conscience has pricked me ever since.
Should I have said something, done something, as a caring
citizen? It was a minor incident, but one that reflects our
apathy in a major way. The banana peel could have caused an
accident, and I would have been partly responsible for not
acting on my instinct to say something. After all, we do pay our
taxes for a clean, healthy environment and a clean transit
system.
I came home and poured out the story to my husband in an
effort to ease my guilt. He feels that it was okay not to have
said anything because the man on the TTC could have been rude to
me and told me it is none of my business.
But it is my business because I am a caring Canadian.
Anything that creates harm on public property should be all of
our business.
I note that, generally, Canadians are peace-loving and
non-interfering. They follow the live-and-let-live principle.
Very sensible. However, the scales can sometimes tip too much in
the other direction, creating a non-caring and unfeeling
environment.
Where does one draw the line? Crime is on the increase here,
and we are slowly losing our Toronto the Good image. I wonder if
it is because of our apathetic, wishy-washy and unthinking
acceptance of everything around us? I feel that I, too, have
helped compound this attitude by not speaking up for something I
felt was ethically wrong.
I come from Pakistan, a country where we are guilty of too
much interference. A small accident on the street can collect a
crowd of people in seconds. A bereaved neighbor will have no
time to mourn because of the flood of sympathetic visitors. In
times of stress, we never want in terms of warm bodies, warm
food and well-wishers. Sometimes it becomes overwhelming, but
there is always the security of knowing that someone shares our
problems and sorrow.
I fear that if I ever have an accident in Toronto, my family
will not know until two days later - not because people don't
care but because they do not like to interfere in other people's
affairs and have very little time.
It bothers me that I am becoming
self-centred. My natural
reaction used to be to talk to people, guide and help them. But
I have become cautious and cold.
There was an old woman who used to sit on the steps at St.
George subway with an outstretched hand. I saw her almost every
day and felt very badly for her. I consoled myself that there
are organizations that can help, and someone will eventually
contact them. So I did nothing. In time, I changed my route and
never saw her again. I feel guilty that I did not take the time
to ask who she was and where she came from.
So I am left standing on the precipice: Should I follow my
instincts, and at the risk of being snubbed, speak up when I see
a wrong being done? Or should I continue to live my life wrapped
in a cloak of self-centred oblivion?
My dilemma continues . .
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© 1994 Toronto Star, All Rights Reserved.
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