Toronto Star, Ontario ed. 
CONDO LIVING 
Saturday, March 1, 2003

Pakistani family started in Canada with one house, four adults, two grandkids. Parents downsized to a condo and embraced a new lifestyle

Condo proved to be 'love at first sight'

When they moved to this country a dozen years ago, Najma and Arshad Qayyum, like many South Asians, invited their adult children to live with them.

"We wanted to give our offspring a good start and some initial security when we first came to Canada," says Najma.

Immigrants from Pakistan, the Qayyums, both in their 50s, chose a five-bedroom house in Brampton as their first home.

They filled it with family heirlooms and shared it with their son Imran, 36, daughter-in-law Faiza, 35, and two young grandchildren, Hira and Danial.

The Qayyums have another son, Usman, 34, a cardiologist who lives in the U.S.

Najma fondly relates how she was touched when her granddaughter Hira, then 5, said "you aren't a grandmother, you're a Nanno. Grandmothers live far away, you only visit them sometimes, and they aren't your friends."

No such issue with the Qayyums who have lived as one big happy family for 12 years.

"It's wonderful to have had this experience, but early last year we all agreed that that the time was right for us to think about living separately," Najma says.

"My son chose a custom-built home in Brampton, but my husband and I had a dilemma. It was a tough decision for us because we didn't want another huge home, didn't like townhouses and needed something on one level," she says.

Arshad Qayyum, a chartered accountant, wanted to be relatively close to his business, which deals with accounting, tax and asset management and is based in Mississauga.

"We've never lived in an apartment and were quite apprehensive about adopting a totally new lifestyle," explains Najma.

Avesta is also the now-"dead" language of the scripture, adds Antia, who has written but not yet published a paper on his community.

Zoroastrianism flourished in ancient Persia (now Iran) until the Arab invasion in 641 A.D. Then, some Zoroastrians were forced to convert to Islam, while others fled to the mountains. Around 785 A.D. a small group fled by boat to Gujerat on India's west coast, Antia writes.

The King of Gujerat received them warmly, allowing them to settle with freedom to worship, provided they adhered to five conditions: surrender of all arms, adoption of local dress, adoption of local language, performance of wedding ceremonies after sunset and an explanation of the religion to the ruler.

'Coming to Canada has minimized differences'

"However, it seemed to be the ideal solution to our needs as we're heading toward the 'golden years'."

Arshad handed over the majority of the decisions to his wife who helps in the family business and likes to research products. "I had read about MLS in The Star, so I went onto the Internet and started exploring the condo market.

"I learned that it's important to see financial statements and the reserve fund of a condo (generally, the higher the reserve fund, the better long-term security of the building). Our conundrum was that you can only see those once you put in an offer."

The Qayyums were into a fine balancing act because they had to wait until their son's home was completed last August. Then they would put their own home on the market, put a bid on a new place and move- hoping would be as close to simultaneously as possible

Najma put the waiting time to good use. She read, researched and asked questions.

"I decided that I wanted to move into an older building because with a new builder you take a chance," says Najma.

"I also learned that one must inspect the common areas in a building like the car park, storage and locker areas- if they are well-maintained then it's a good residence."

Najma adds she wanted to be absolutely sure "that when we move it's for the right reasons and into the right place because I don't plan to move again soon."

Najma considers herself blessed after finding Granite Gates, a condo community at Mississauga Rd. and The Collegeway in Mississauga built by Camrost-Felcorp. "I had seen these earlier, but thought they would be unaffordable."

But when a condo became available, she still went to see it. "It was love at first sight. This wasn't anything like what I had imagined or feared. The condo is open and bright, with a breathtaking view from the kitchen of the Sawmill Conservation Area and I decided right then, that if we have to live in a condo, then this is the one!"

The building is 12 years old and has a recreation centre and pool. The Qayyums were fortunate that the owner wanted to sell quickly. "I was afraid it would be beyond our (price) range- however our son's friend is a real estate agent who negotiated the price and brought it down to our offer."

The couple paid about $325,000 for their condo, which is 1,535 square feet, with two bedrooms, dining room and two baths. "We were lucky once again that the timing was perfect: Our house sold, our son's home was ready in August, so we moved in with him and worked on a few things in the condo like removing the brightly coloured wallpaper."

They moved into the condo in October. Arshad adds, "It's my wife's choice and a wise one. We don't regret this decision for a moment and love living here."

But in between all this was the crisis of what to do with the belongings from the five-bedroom house. "We are hoarders by nature- there's no doubt about that. Despite my warning to the family to start getting rid of stuff, we had tonnes of things everywhere- from the finished basement to the garage. It's unbelievable the bits and pieces we collect and I was stressed wondering how we would ever fit all that into the condo," Najma says.

But they managed. "The kids took furniture for four bedrooms and we took one bedroom, but that house was 5,600 square feet so the stuff was never-ending. I decided that I'm not going to have a garage sale, but give everything we don't want or need to charity," says Najma.

"It was a logistic nightmare, but we made lists of what we each want to keep and I told everyone in the family to be ruthless about discarding what they didn't need. In the end, we gave away six truckloads of usable items and threw out another few truckloads of junk. I've sworn never to hoard again!" she adds.

True to their promise, the Qayyums keep the new condo elegantly furnished with a few select items. "I'm quite delighted because some of my Pakistani artwork, like handcrafted mirrors, are more visible in the condo," says Najma with enthusiasm.

However, it's a transition getting used to life with less," Najma admits. "I'm a gadget freak but now I try to find multiple uses for one gadget. The only new furniture we purchased is a sofa bed for the extra bedroom for when the grandchildren visit."

That's not the only lifestyle change for the Qayyums. "It's also a change to buy groceries in small quantities and I have to curb my impulse to buy for six as opposed to two people," she says.

The Qayyums are members of the condo committee and regularly attend meetings, while their new home gives them the flexibilty and free time to pursue their hobbies like reading, listening to music and entertaining. "This new lifestyle allows us to indulge our children, grandchildren, and still take out time for ourselves to do all the things we want to do," Najma says.

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