Toronto
Star
Jan 12, 2003
In our family,
the best part of a holiday, event or party is the post mortem known
fondly as P.M. It’s considered fair play to indulge in
constructive criticism and comment without personalizing. This is what
I’m setting out to do. We are past the sensitive time of multi-faith
holidays and traditions starting from Diwali to New years, so it seems
like a perfect time to put some thoughts into perspective for this year.
Last month, it all started with a kafuffle at City Hall about changing
the name of the Christmas tree to Holiday tree. This spouted many
columns saying much of what I’ve been saying since I came to
Canada -
Let’s respect everyone’s traditions, without taking Christmas
away from Christians.
Following this more recently was the
mosque kafuffle, where it was said that for Muslims, wishing Merry
Christmas is a sin. Another ignorant and divisive missive.
Somewhere between
these two extremes, an important message has been lost. I don’t
believe it’s about naming the tree or wishing people Merry Christmas.
There is a much larger picture that affects all of us as we try to live
in harmony. I wanted to make this point when everything is quiet so
people can focus once again! All that eggnog fuddles the mind.
While I’ve never
had a problem in wishing people Merry Christmas, joining in with the
celebrations and even organizing my office Christmas party, I have a
small suggestion to make and I hope it will be taken in the spirit that
it is given. My circle of friends includes people of Christian, Hindu,
Muslim, Jewish, Baha’i, Zoroastrian and Sikh faiths.
So I wish them according to their particular festival or
tradition. Co-incidentally, many of the celebrations fall during
December or thereabouts which makes it a wonderful time to join in the
season of joy and goodwill, and decorate lights on the house, without
being labeled a heretic.
But I specifically
refrain from offering a generic “Happy Holiday” greeting because I
find it impersonal and unfriendly. I know that despite the fact that
some of the celebrations fall around Christmas time, my Hindu or Sikh
friends wouldn’t expect me to wish them Merry Christmas. Because they
are my friends, I take the time to find out what their celebration is
called, find the date on my multicultural calendar and wish them for
their celebration.
Happy Diwali or Greetings for Hanukkah as the case
may be. This makes them
feel special and I know they appreciate the thought and effort.
Similarly, when it comes to my festival, close friends ask “what do
you celebrate?” and I tell them “Eid”. They ask how to wish me and
I tell them “Eid Mubarak” which means “Joyous Blessings”.
People are generally thrilled to be educated, but often forget to
use the greeting when required. (Incidentally some of the columns
referred to Muslims
celebrating
Ramadan, which is
incorrect. We observe Ramadan but celebrate Eid at the end
of Ramadan – just some trivia for the next time!)
So we come back to Christmas which is the major
festival. I give my Christian friends, colleagues, and neighbors small
gifts for Christmas to show our respect for their celebration.
The response however is troubling. At a time when there is so
much else to do, there is a rush to ‘return’ the gift and I find
quickly wrapped gifts on my desk with Happy Holiday cards.
While I’m not offended and truly appreciate the effort, I feel
the larger message has been lost in the commercial rush of Christmas.
It’s about giving and not receiving – it’s your festival so I want
to give you a token of appreciation at this time of the year with no
expectation of a return. If
you really care and want to show it, then take out time to give me the
same gift at Eid or just take a moment to wish me. I’ll appreciate it
so much more. So will your other colleagues and friends who celebrate
all those other festivals I mentioned earlier, and many more.
Here we’re talking about the true face of the
multicultural, multi-faith mosaic we live in called Canada. Where it’s
not about taking away Christmas or about not wishing people Merry
Christmas - but being aware of those who celebrate other festivals and
sharing your goodwill with them. This way, there will be less angst over
what to call the Christmas tree and I trust everyone will be at ease
with the majority celebrating Christmas with all the fanfare they want.
A bit of enthusiastic inclusiveness is all that
is asked for. Happy New year.
|
