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Toronto
Star Ontario
ed.
LIFE
Friday, August 5, 1994
Last of five
parts See CORRECTION at end of story. - Silent shame wife abuse
crosses all cultural and ethnic boundaries. But immigrant women
face added burdens of language barriers, social stigma and
unfamiliarity with Canadian laws
Gori is a petite, soft-spoken and gentle young woman. She has
a black eye and bruises all over her body, the result of
repeated beatings by her husband.
Counselors have advised her to separate or press charges.
She has chosen to stay in her marriage.
"It would be considered shameful for me to leave since
there is a social stigma attached to a wife leaving her husband,
no matter what the reason."
Mina desperately wanted release from her violent spouse of
many years. She tried seeking legal help but her husband and his
live-in family threatened ex-communication from her family
and
community.
Mina was kept indoors forcefully until she agreed to overlook
the issue. She is still being abused, while those close to her
simply look the other way.
Gori and Mina (not their real names) are South Asian and
living a daily nightmare of abuse and violence.
Their stories are not unique for wife abuse crosses all
cultural, linguistic and ethnic boundaries. But immigrant women
often face added burdens and difficulties imposed by language
barriers, social stigma and unfamiliarity with Canadian laws and
rights.
Within the South Asian community, as an example, "fewer
women are willing to seek professional help or counseling,"
according to counselor Aruna Papp of the South Asian Family
Support Services in Scarborough. The majority of cases go
unreported, she adds.
Often abuse victims are unaware and uninformed about where to
reach out for help. Many suffer from language problems - their
agony compounded by the fact that they are simultaneously
dealing with adjustment to a new country, climate and culture.
South Asians are generally private people and do not like to
talk about their domestic problems. The family is their pride
and joy and they will go to great extremes to keep the family
name from
being dishonored.
Sometimes that means trying to sweep domestic problems under
the rug and ignoring issues such as abuse and violence.
When South Asians, whose former homelands include India,
Pakistan, Bangladesh, East Africa, Sri Lanka and the Caribbean,
come to Canada, their social and cultural norms are distinctly
different from those of the local population. Typically,
religion dominates the social code of life. This poses a huge
problem: how to differentiate between loyalty to their own faith
or culture and loyalty to life within the boundaries of the law
in Canada?
For example, in some countries it is not a criminal offence
for husbands to beat their wives. And very rarely does a court
case arise out of such an act of violence.
"Many South Asians are living in a time warp of 20 years
ago," says Afroz Usman of Awakening Family Counselling and
Mediation Services in Thornhill.
"They have physically settled in Canada but have not
come to terms with, or accepted, Canadian laws. When there is
trouble on the domestic front, they are more willing to let the
elders of the family solve the problem rather than seek legal
help."
Usman, who has worked with abused women for over a decade and
is a board member of the Women in Transition shelter, cites
instances where men have married South Asian women as a means of
getting into Canada and then dumped them.
"These women do not turn to the law for help, either
because they are terrified of reprisals or because they are
under threat of dishonor," says Usman.
"My prime aim is to educate Asian women about the law
and their rights in Canada. Once they are convinced they can
live within the boundaries of their religion and culture, and
still be free, they can move ahead with their lives."
In many cultures women are generally brought up to think of
men in the family as the lord and master of their lives. They
are programmed to accept their life as fate and take whatever is
doled out to them.
The perpetrator of violence in the household is not always
the partner, lover or spouse but may be a relative of the
partner,
says Papp.
But the scenario is slowly changing. Papp started the Toronto
Asian Community Centre in 1981 and since then has set the ball
rolling toward building organizations to help the South Asian
community.
A victim of domestic abuse herself, Papp works with abused
women and trains counselors and caregivers. She has also made a
video for counselors on how to deal with spouse abuse.
"The needs of South Asian women are specific to the
culture," she says. "Battered women will often refuse
refuge in a shelter because it does not cater to their specific
ethnic needs, like language, religion and dietary
restrictions."
Papp explains that the South Asian diaspora is extremely
diverse and that dozens of different languages are spoken in
India alone.
"There is a burning need for more shelters aimed
specifically at South Asians and catering to their needs,"
she says, adding that there is also a lack of qualified ethnic
caregivers in the community.
Leslie Brown, a barrister and lawyer, suggests that a simple
awareness of Canadian law will grant women much needed security
and protection.
"Cultural, social and religious beliefs are often the
biggest barrier to getting justice," says Brown, who works
closely with the
South Asian community.
He has found that women will generally avoid speaking to a
stranger about their domestic problems; others find language an
obstacle while many others simply accept violence as a way of
life.
On the positive side, women with similar problems and from
similar backgrounds are now forming into groups to help each
other and train under professionals.
The interaction and knowledge that others, too, are suffering
from the dilemma of domestic violence gives the victims, at
least,
moral support.
Raheel Raza is a freelance writer specializing in women's
issues.
CORRECTION
A story about wife abuse in yesterday's Life section
incorrectly identified Aruna Papp as a counselor with South
Asian Family Support Services. In fact she is in private
practice and no longer involved with the organization. The
correct number for the support group is (416) 281-5469.
The Star regrets the errors. (Aug. 6, 1994. Page A3)
Copyright
© 1997 Toronto Star, All Rights Reserved.
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